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the dramas, the life, the people around, the ups and downs, the gossips that you hate and love

Sherlin
Helena

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At first was the 2 stones on the table... the same brand of shades...
Then, the same colour that we were wearing.. is PINK!!! (do i have to say this many time?? i hate pink)Including a fury baby in the middle... it was Her who saw us... and spread the news..
Then I was drunk, we alomost kissed..
Yeh, I am drunk again, and for real we did kissed.. till now, i'm still wondering, where the hell on earth i got a patch blue black right under my knee???
And it happened again.. this time i was not drunk...
And you sang me songs, I do like it...
Then, a phone call that wake me up.. no more mistakes... but ntg changed.. we remain the same...
And till you got your package arrived... and I met her... and i was making quite a show (best actress award for me)...
We said goodbye yesterday... with hugs n kisses...

And seriously, why the hell on eart that I don't feel anything?? or maybe a lil???

And you told, everything is going to be ok, because I'm a tough gal.. yes, I am tough all the time.
But seriously, I just want to be me.
A normal me, without any dramas around me. I dun want to 'THE CHELSE'.. I just want to be me...  
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Finally, i have time (is like only an hour for me) to update my blog... Been bloody busy with work
My hectic crazy teaching time, start on thursday at 3pm... Friday from 1.30pm.. and Saturday, is like a bloody weekdays working office hour... Snd sunday too (not too hectic) I still need to catch up with friends..

Last week, my working hour is crazy, finish (half way actually, replacing the classes on sunday) teaching at 1pm. Rush home to change, straight to Mahkota Parade Artist Booth for my make up, fashion show at 4pm.. they sprayed my hair till it looks like few currypuff hanging on it..I ended up in Kim's Saloon, paging for William's help.. reach home round 8pm den.. out again for bozzing session with Jack n UE.. thanks to Lex , I was tipsy due to your neat liquor... I was a char siew that nite!!!

Sunday, got up round 7.45am and get myself ready for church.. den for 10.30am piano lesson... i ended my teaching till 4.30pm. Reached home 15 minutes before 5pm.. Ready my songs list, practice a lil.. Showered n put on my so call make up (I have problem with those making myself beautiful thingy, I'm not a make up fan.. I'm a ntg on my face gal) rush to Majestic Hotel as their pianist due to Summer is attending his fren;s wedding... my work finish at 10pm... I only had my dinner after my work... no breakee, no lunch...

And this week, I dunno what the hell I put myself into.. teaching in primay school. BOY SCHOOL.. with kids running around the class.. and my shouting is not helping at all... sigh... Monday was relaxing, going to new house to decorate my new wardrobe.. tuesday was fun cos i had my facial and eyelashes permed after school... Yesterday was great too.. I had my hair dyed..

Today, dam... i feel like dying.. teaching n teaching for whole day.. school in the morning... meeting after... my piano lessons gonna start at 3pm and finish at 7pm...

Is tired, but i'm enjoying it..
After 3 days in primary school, I STILL PREFER RUNWAY!!!
i wan glamourous n fabulous clothes on me.. not those, too short (already knee lenght) skirt... the weather is hot too.. Like i said, i'm allergic to knee length...
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Is been almost a month now, after the idiotic 'I DUN WANT YOU ANYMORE' breakup.. this is a nice phrase!!! haha.. can't believe i actually said that.. I DUN WANT YOU ANYMORE...

oh well, 4 months ago, u came into my life without any warning. i took it as a pleasure. what else can i do then?? i was way too tipsy to remember what was going on that nite.. i had my merdeka eve party like a rock star.. u asked the lamest question ever, CAN I HAVE YOUR NUMBER??? i was like, what number do you wan.. eventually i gave in, u had my number.. but too many numbers in one nite, i seriously dun remeber you guys, just a bunch of funny names in my contact list, still sorry people, you guys still having weird nickmanes that i gave you  guys.. haha

and yeh, u made u move, u hold my hand for the first time.. i felt so empty.. but jack was like, if you really like him, gave urself a 100% in.. cos Jack doesn't wan me to be like his ex too.. which is the other stories.. so, i tried.. but things were nice at first.. but u?? wow!! i can said, nice dramas, nice show that u had put on.. everyone around me totally eat it n digest it well.. even my dad!!! unbelieavable..

what the purpose that u kept saying you're sorry and you dun even feel sorry at all, saying sorry is not about everything.. after buying my gifts as replacement?? nah, i dun want to.. but youy kept giving, so i keep taking.. a waste that i dun keep it.. right??

obviously, u dun know me at all... i bet you dun even know my chinese name till know (well, people around me hardly know it too).. all this while i was quiet around you while you were talking to your frens in alien language, u think i have no clue at all?? too bad, i do understand it.. yes, i might be the nerd that loves bookshop than clothing.. i just love those boks than everything.. i tried to step into  your life, you shut the door in front of me.. leaving me hopelessn helpless.. and the fat arse that you consider a friend?? tell you what, u betta watch out cos he's just a fat arse who can't bear to see all his friends got attached and try to sabotage everything cos he's too timid to bear a single life for ages... well to go, fat arse, u did your part by telling me you have no clue about the shit that happened around you.. and what's the hint for?? huh?? ask yourself...

i'm sorry that this is an angry post.. but i can't help it, i'm angry cos i dunno wat was wrong in the situation, you said I LOVE YOU all the time, i totally believe it.. which makes me stupid cos normally i dun take it seriously at all... the first time i ever dated a chinese guy, the first time this loser gave me so much troubles...u torned my heart into pieces, but all the pieces that u had crumbled, all the my friends and family that really do care picked up the pieces that puzzled it up..

I'M FINE NOW... supposingly i'm doing good now, all the hiding n running away dramas going to end soon, i'm coming back...

WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND...
you'll see, you'll know...
thanks for making me so much stronger and tougher!!!

fyi, you totally ruined my favourite month, not only my birthday also the entire month...

Labels: retarded

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Was packing up stuff today, tired and my stupid nose is running marathon again.. sigh...

Suddenly this song was playing on the radio, I Belong to Me by Jessica Simpson.. well, it really suit my mood today.. after the retarded, stupid n leave me hanging on the coconut tree breakup. the only thing i can say is, I DO BELONG TO MYSELF.. sherlin is happy for me. she said that finally, i got my onw life back.. i get to be me again.. not rushing home cos he'll get angry with me, not going out with friends cos he said not to, not drinking beer or partying cos he dun like it... screw all those rubbish.. i'm in control.. i do whatever i feel like it.. this is me.. Like the lyrics, I gave up my love but I'm not giving up myself.. 

Love this song...

"I Belong To Me"

I belong to me...

It's not that I don't wanna share my life with you baby
It's just that I'm the one I need to be true to baby
And I won't give up me to be part of you
It's not that I don't wanna have you in my life baby
It's just you gotta know that it's got to be right baby
Before I open up my heart to you

I don't need somebody to complete me
I complete myself
Nobody's got to belong to somebody else

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection
I belong to me
I'm one not half of two
And if you're gonna love me
You should know this baby
I belong to me

I gotta let you know before I let you in, baby
That who I am is not about who I am with, baby
That don't mean I don't wanna be here with you
I do

I don't need somebody to complete me
I want you to know
I'll give up my love but I'm not giving up my soul

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection
I belong to me
I'm one not half of two
And if you're gonna love me
You should know this baby
I belong to me

Oh yea

Love don't mean changing who you are to be
Who somebody wants you to be
Nobody's got to belong to nobody

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection
I belong to me
I'm one not half of two
And if you gonna love me
You should know this baby
I belong to me
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wow, i'm being so ridiculous.. suddenly feel like writing... but guess what, i'm totally forgotten my old password n the link..

anyway, 2009 had been a crappy year.. well, is 2010 already, it's actually took me 2 weeks to get over a bloody retarded him.. and i had gone hiding under the radar... playing hide n seek with people around me.. guys, sorry for not picking up the calls, can't get through my mobile, watever.. is just that my mobiles really gave me a weird feeling.. i'm scared to pick it, too lazy to charge it when it's running out of batt, or i just left it some where that i totally forgotten..

thanks to my buddies, jack n tin.. they were there for me all the time.. jon too for waking me up form this miserable period.. all i have to say is, THANK YOU SO MUCH!! i love u guys lots...

I'm gonna start a new...
and u, the retarded one, thanks for making me a fighter, i'm so much stronger now...

Labels: 1st

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